President Piss Party Wants to Change Senate Rules to Simple Majority Because He Sucks at His Job

Gee, if only there had been, oh, I don’t know, 65 million people warning Trump fans that their orange tinted sexual predator fuhrer was a huckster, incapable of doing anything he promised. If only there had been a well-documented case against him, built out of the public record of his very public and embarrassing failures since the 1970’s. If only there had been millions of us, shouting from the rafters about handing the reins of the country over to a trust fund racist and D-List reality TV attention whore instead of someone with even a soupcon of diplomacy, education, and training to handle the most important job in the world.

But nah, there wasn’t any of that, obviously, and now the whole world is watching Trump’s Republican Party implode. Why? Because half of them want to be cold, heartless cocks and rip healthcare away from millions, and others merely want to make healthcare less affordable so they can give rich people more money they don’t need, that’s why. And the kicker?

Now President Piss Party is demanding the Senate change their longstanding rules and make it so that any proposal only needs a simple majority pass, rather than the traditional sixty vote threshold. This morning, after a stinging defeat on Trumpcare’s passage to replace Obamacare, Trump’s tweet tirade ended with him demanding that Mitch McConnell and the Republicans change the Senate rules “to a 51 vote majority” because “8 Dems control Senate.”

Donald J. Trump on Twitter

The Senate must go to a 51 vote majority instead of current 60 votes. Even parts of full Repeal need 60. 8 Dems control Senate. Crazy!

Once again, the man is complaining about the Constitution, essentially, and in doing so treading into such deeply ironic waters as to make it almost as hilarious as it is sad. Trump complaining about anything regarding the Constitution being outdated, or obsolete, or a challenge to his agenda is laughable. Without the Electoral College, a key component of the Constitution, he wouldn’t even be president. If last year’s election had been held ¬†in any other western democracy — representative republic or otherwise — he’d have lost.

Trump complaining about the Constitution is like me complaining about my mother’s vagina. Which I’d never do. I mean, from whence I came…or rather she did. Or at least my dad did. Okay, I’m off the rails now, but let’s just steer this wreck back into the mess of a country our president is creating, yeah?

Why does Trump want the rules changed? So he can have a win, that’s why. Forget that 32 million fucking Americans will be without health coverage, because he’s got to have his win. Forget that it will throw markets into chaos and it will be even worse than the pre-ACA days. HE MUST HAVE HIS WIN.

I’ve got news for the moron — it’s not Democratic obstruction fucking his agenda up. It’s him. For starters, anyone on the right who complains of obstructionism can eat a bag of self-unaware dicks. For eight years we watched Republicans obstruct Obama. Did they really think we’d forget that? Of course not. They just bank on the fact that their base doesn’t watch the same news programs we do, and therefore will never believe that the GOP was far, far worse with obstruction than the Dems have been.

Let’s not forget — the Republicans control¬†everything.¬†Literally every branch of government is ostensibly controlled by the Republican Party. And still they can’t get their horrific nightmare of a healthcare bill passed because they keep forgetting this tiny thing — they’re not the party of the electorate’s majority or even plurality. They’re the party of gerrymandering in the House, a razor thin lead in the Senate, and a presidency that only exists because of an arcane, antidemocratic mechanism that assumes the people are too stupid to choose their own leader by one person, one vote.

So the truth? Trump wants the rules changed because he’s terrible at his job. Good presidents are able to at the very least get stuff they want from their own party. You can’t knock a president for getting stymied by the opposing party; that’s what they do. But you can sure as hell make some judgments about this myth of Donald Trump, The Closer.

Seems to me we have to take the “C” away from him so it’s more accurate: Loser.

If there’s a Trumper out there who can name me one thing Trump has actually accomplished, I’d love to hear it. Some point to Neil Gorsuch being on the Supreme Court bench, and that makes me laugh. He “got that done” by way of being a Republican bobble head in the Oval Office. That achievement rests on Mitch McConnell’s shell. He’s the one that stole the seat from Obama with idiotic notions of not confirming SCOTUS picks in election years — something nowhere near the Constitution’s provisions and ground rules.

There’s been no border wall, Mexico isn’t paying for it, and every time he talks about the wall sounds dumber and dumber. Trump hasn’t delivered on repealing Obamacare, despite saying he’d do it the first day in office. His Muslim ban is awaiting a Supreme Court hearing, but it’s been largely gutted and watered down already anyway. For all the talk of Trump the deal maker, he’s not made any deals. Even the Carrier jobs he supposedly saved already have been earmarked for leaving.

President Trump is hoping that if Mitch McConnell can just blow up the Senate’s rules it will paper over his shitty performance. It can’t and won’t. But I find it fascinating that so many people who profess a near worship of the Founding Fathers are so ready to fundamentally change the way they designed the Senate to work, all for a political victory that will nothing but Pyrrhic. The mid-terms are coming, Trump’s approval rating is historic in its terribleness, and unless they can further suppress the vote, an avalanche of snowflakes is coming.

But make no mistake — all of this is only happening because, unsurprisingly, Donald Trump sucks at his job.

Comments

comments

About James Schlarmann 1406 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
Twitter Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com