Are Trump Supporters So Threatening He HAS to Be the Nominee Now?

Does the kind of violence and insanity that Trump supporters are willing to stoop to make them too threatening to civility for anyone else but Trump to be the nominee?

The GOP created this monster, and unless they want full-scale pandemonium in the streets, and an electoral defeat even more embarrassing than 2012, they probably better not fuck with him at the convention. Because he’ll either go rogue and pull his supporters way — which is the best case scenario for the Republicans and the country too, ironically enough — or his supporters will unleash derpy hell on regular citizens. These are the kinds of assholes with more guns than IQ points, so if the Republican elite don’t want either to have The Donald destroy their party or create serious civil unrest, they have to let him be the nominee.

One way or another, it seems Trump has stirred up a viper’s nest and he’s counting on those snakes to carry him to the nomination. Whether or not screwing Donald out of the nod is going to cause violence in the streets, or just insane turbulence in the party is still probably anyone’s guess. Let’s face it — if someone is willing to just cold cock someone like that old man at the Trump rally did do that younger black guy, then we really don’t know how far they’ll take their devotion to their candidate.

This isn’t to say the GOP should feel any pressure to kowtow to low-brow neanderthals, of course. Their plan to stop Trump is probably too little, too late, but at least on some level they’ve finally realized they fucked up and fucked up big time. But catching stage four cancer and expecting normal chemo and radiation to wipe it out is probably a bit delusional, and so is thinking that a brokered convention will solve the Republicans’ problems.

Looking at the numbers, even if a large bevy of Trump’s support comes from people who wouldn’t normally call themselves Republicans, if he leaves and takes just one out of every five of his supporters with him, he will all but guarantee a Democratic victory in November. If he stays, then the Republican donor class has to figure out how to de-fascist him as fast as possible. As surprising as it’s been for Trump to stick around, the odds are still pretty long that he’d win. Trump supporters are the ones who have been spoiling for revolution since Obama took office. Three Percenters and others with more ammunition than brain cells are helping to keep the angry fuel underneath Trump’s ass, burning white hot with rage against a machine that they feel has robbed them of their supreme whiteness.


But remember everyone…racism is dead in America.

Still…the odds aren’t impossible, and frankly they’re not as bad as most carbon based lifeforms would want them to be. So what we have on our hands is a bunch of pissed off, angry, conservative white people, and they happen to be the ones mostly stockpiling the guns. There is most definitely something to be at the very least cautiously observant of, but just how cautious do we really need to be?

Americans are reallllllllllllllllllllly fucking lazy. Like tremendously lazy, and riots and revolution take hard work. So maybe we’re lucky that there’s so much good reality-TV to keep them occupied with that they just can’t be arsed to revolt. I mean, if there’s either a football game or a decent amateur pornographic movie on TV at the time, I bet you could get at least 85% of Americans, regardless of their love of bloody revolt, to stay home.

Maybe we’ll all luck out and good ol’ fashioned American “meh” and apathy will keep angry Trump voters safely in their bunkers, cleaning their guns instead of misguidedly using them to try and circumvent elections. We’ve somehow managed to get through more than 40 of these changes of power in our past without a massive, bloody and violent calamity besetting us…well, the Civil War notwithstanding. But if ever there was someone who inspired true stupidity in his followers it’s Donald Trump, and if ever there was a stupid idea — getting violent over Donald Trump’s defeat is one of them.

So who knows? I don’t. I’m a comedian. I’m just watching it all burn with you. But hey, are those some fiddles I hear playing? Now that’s some sweet music.

Hey, what are those four dudes on horses doing here all of a sudden?

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About James Schlarmann 1434 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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