Jeff Bezos Revokes Donald Trump’s Amazon Shopping Privileges

In response to Donald Trump revoking The Washington Post’s press credentials, the paper’s owner has banned the presidential candidate from the e-commerce site Amazon.com.

On Tuesday, one day after the presumptive Republican nominee announced he was nixing access to his campaign events for journalists from the 138-year-old newspaper, Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos — who bought The Washington Post in 2013 — said Trump would no longer be allowed to purchase anything on the popular shopping site.

“Based on his incredibly thin skin and childish behavior toward one of the most respected news outlets in the world, we are hereby revoking the shopping privileges of the con artist and pathological liar known as Donald J. Trump,” Bezos said in a statement about his fellow billionaire.

Bezos’ statement explained how all known internet protocol (IP) addresses connected to Trump, his offices, and his residences would be blocked by Amazon. Additionally, any order designated to be shipped to an address associated with the real estate mogul would be cancelled.

The technology innovator also addressed the possibility of Trump trying to do commerce on Amazon under any number of assumed names he’s had a history of employing.



“We are also blacklisting all of Trump’s known aliases. No matter which nom de douche he uses — John Miller, John Baron, Fuckface Von Clownstick — it doesn’t matter. He’s not buying a damn thing on our site,” the statement said.

As for Trump getting his family to do his Amazon shopping for him, Bezos also addressed that contingency by taking a page out of Trump’s anti-terror policy playbook.

“If that ass clown thinks he can get around our banishment by having his wife or kids — or any of his employees, for that matter — buy stuff for him, he can forget it. They’re all blacklisted, too,” the statement read. “If he thinks going after the families of terrorists is good enough for America, then going after the families of our enemies is good enough for me.”

Bezos concluded his statement by adding, “Trump isn’t the only one who can build a (fire)wall.”


Republished from The Red Shtick.

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About Jeremy White 49 Articles
Jeremy White is an engineer by education, but a smartass by birth, who refused to let his technical background stand in the way of his dream of making fun of people. He's the founder and publisher of the satirical and irreverent humor site TheRedShtick.com
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