Instead Of A Victory Lap, President-Elect Fuckwit Should Be Preparing For The Job

When President Obama was elected in 2008, conservatives claim he went on an “Apology Tour” around the world, basically telling everyone he could how sorry the U.S. for the Bush II Years. Even though this notion has been thoroughly debunked, over and over again, just this March, conservatives were holding tight to it, as they discussed Obama’s attempts to open up dialogue with Cuba.

CAL THOMAS: Obama ‘apology tour’ comes full circle in Cuba

At the beginning of his presidency, Barack Obama traveled to Cairo, Europe and the United Nations to “apologize” for past American actions and attitudes, which he claimed helped create divisions between countries.

Say what you will about how Obama behaved in the wake of being elected, but one thing he didn’t do was go on a back-slapping tour across the country. He didn’t focus said back-slapping tour on only the states he won — gee, maybe losing the popular vote was more stinging than Trump led on? He got down to the task of staffing his administration and, God forbid, preparing himself for the most difficult job on the planet.

Donald Trump has literally done the complete opposite of Obama. As much as Republicans grouse about Obama’s time on the golf course during his tenure, at least Obama took the job seriously. Well, to outside, non-partisan observers he did. To Republicans his very membership in the Democratic Party was enough to show he wasn’t serious about the job.

Reports are already surfacing that Trump is only taking one intelligence briefing a week, and letting Vice-President-Elect Mike Pence take the rest. And here I thought Republicans only voted for serious people who took the job very seriously. Silly me.

Either President-Elect Fuckwit is already tipping his hand and showing how uninterested he is in actually being the president, Mike Pence is tipping his hand and showing that he’ll actually be the president, or it’s a combination of the two. Regardless, we’re seeing that Trump has no issue with just skipping briefings that you’d think he’d want to be in on, considering how much authority and responsibility he’s about to have for the content of those briefings.

Well, he’ll be responsible for what’s in those meetings unless Republicans in Congress and voters out in the heartland just turn a blind, hypocritical eye to his total lack of preparation. But that’s impossible, right? There’s no way they’d give Trump a pass for things they’d call Obama horrible names and demand he resign or face impeachment for, right?

His cabinet selections have been downright embarrassing, atrocious, and even further indicative of the very few fucks he has to give for actually doing the job. Ben Carson as HUD secretary? Are you fucking kidding me, Donny? What’s he going to do, perform brain surgery on the poverty-stricken? Do a routine medical check-up on the housing markets?

Carson is less qualified to be HUD secretary than he or Trump are to be president for Chrissakes.

It’s just billionaire cronies and other well-connected people he’s selected so far. Perhaps to him and his supporters  naming some random people to posts that have historically required intellect and experience is being the “outsider” and “draining the swamp.” To me, it just looks like he’d rather go around to places that voted for him, suck up all the adulation, swell his ego until it’s three times larger than his…hands…and then come January he’ll “wing it.”

And by “wing it” I mean he’ll run our country like he ran all the businesses that he took into bankruptcy. So yay for that.

It would be one thing if Trump was swept into power on a huge landslide in the popular vote. That would mean it would make sense for him to tour the country and create a sense of unity, to foster the message of, “We did this together, and now let’s go do great things together.” He’s not doing that though. Trump is instead going around to various states and saying, “Aren’t I great? I did all this, didn’t I?” He might call it a “Thank You” tour, but it’s really just a “Thank ME” tour.

If he wanted to impress me, or any of the other millions of people who cast their vote for Hillary, Trump would show a willingness to get down to the work at hand, not just parade around red states like some kind of hero.

Just a gentle reminder: The people who voted for Hillary did so as one of the largest groups of voters in American history. Only Barack Obama in 2008 got more votes than Hillary did in November. She even outdid Obama’s re-election number. No matter how you slice it, more Americans than almost ever before wanted someone other than Trump for president.

Which is why President-Elect Fuckwit doing this tour, of course.

He’s betting on the optics being all that matters. He’s hoping he can erase the picture that people have in their minds of a tin horn president. He has loyalists, there is no doubt, and many millions of them. He has a much larger contingent of dissenters though, and he may pretend that he doesn’t see them or it doesn’t affect him, but I can assure you if he’d won the popular vote, he wouldn’t need to go on an ego-stroking tour. Instead of cracking the books and winning us over, he’s choosing instead to cozy up to only the people who voted for him to make himself feel better. He’d rather keep it “us versus them” because that’s what soothes his burned go over losing the popular vote.

And here I thought Obama was the “Divider in Chief” to these people.




I’m a comedian, a clown, so I don’t have the gift of fortune telling. But you don’t have to be clairvoyant to see the shit show that’s coming. A president-elect is under no legal obligation to prepare himself, but it sure would make a lot of us who are nervous about all of this feel better. It’s going to be a long, long four years I think.

Bar’s open, I’d suggest you take a stool and start ossifying yourself forthwith.


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

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About James Schlarmann 1446 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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