You can rent Jeffrey Dahmer’s childhood home during the GOP convention

Jeffrey Dahmer’s childhood home is available for rent during the GOP convention this year.

If you’ve got $10,000, you and your friends/prostitutes you hired can party like it’s 1978, the year Dahmer committed his first murder. In that house. According to the rental ad, “animals are welcome.” I’m sure there are some remains in the woods behind the house you can dig up if necessary. Is this gross? Pretty much, yes, but at the same time, it makes perfect sense that attendees of the GOP convention might consider renting Dahmer’s childhood home.

After all, they’re supporting a man who wants to “carpet bomb” the Middle East, and a man who said he could stand in the middle of a busy New York street and shoot someone, and his supporters would still love him. They support the death penalty, embrace a rather odd form of Christianity where the downtrodden are the enemy, and Jesus is a white guy wearing a wife-beater and carrying a firearm, and think a zygote is more important than an actual person.

Let me put it another way: The GOP frontrunners are sociopaths and narcissists, so their ardent fans would most likely feel very comfortable spending a few nights at 4480 West Bath Road.

Jeffrey Dahmer was a horrible human being, and so are the two GOP frontrunners. No, they’re not serial killers…although, they sure like to talk about killing people. Brown-skinned people, primarily. Muslims, Hispanics, Palestinians, more Muslims. Heck, Trump once took out a full-page ad, calling for the death penalty for five black and Hispanic teenagers who, it turned out, were innocent of the horrific crime they were accused of committing. And of course, there are Trump’s supporters, who turn every rally into an MMA fight, without the skill or the rules.

Trump supports the violence perpetrated on others by his fans, and even encourages it. Cruz just wants to kill Muslims. And force the police to monitor Muslim neighborhoods, because obviously, all Muslims are terrorists, and no white people ever do anything bad. Except for all the white people who blow up abortion clinics, or shoot up schools, temples, museums, restaurants, and are serial killers. You know, like Jeffery Dahmer.





One of the worst things to happen during Dahmer’s reign of terror was the night one of his victims managed to escape. A naked boy, running down the street, half drugged, and the Milwaukee police sent him back with Dahmer. Dahmer killed that boy. But according to the fright wing, and their fearful leaders, it’s only brown-skinned people who do awful, horrible things.

To all the conservatives who have an extra $10,000 hidden in their “Obama’s comin’ for mah guns!” panic room, I say stay in that house. Find the room where Dahmer strangled Steven Hicks. Breathe in the horror and the evil and the pain. Roll around on the carpet. Dig up some animal bones. Really immerse yourself in the early life of one of the most prolific serial killers in the country.

And remember: Jeffrey Dahmer was a white, middle-class man, with blonde hair and a normal job. He wasn’t in a gang, or a Muslim, he wasn’t a “thug,” he wasn’t an undocumented immigrant. He was a white kid from Ohio who grew up to commit despicable crimes.

The current owner of the home told The Beacon Journal he listed the house on a “whim,” adding he wanted to “suck some Republican gelt from those people.” C’mon, fright wingers, don’t let him down.

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About Erin Nanasi 90 Articles
Erin Nanasi is a writer, mom, wife, liberal, and lover of wombats. She is the creator of The Bachmann Diaries, Satirical Excerpts from Michele Bachmann's Diaries. Her interview with Bobby Seale, the co-founder of the original Black Panthers, is part of an archive collection at U. C. Berkeley. Erin hates writing about herself in the third person.
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